Sitting, waiting, wishing

Evening all!

Today the little bump is 9 + 4 days old and oh my, the sickness has really kicked in!

I was considering myself quite lucky as I had only been suffering with some slight nausea, but I was up all night with an awful headache and then this morning I was terribly sick. Twice. I felt so awful that I had to call in sick at work. 24 “lively” pupils plus a sicky teacher do not a good combination make!

I have spent today with my feet up, watching old box sets and eating dry toast. My absence from work has raised a few eyebrows and the few colleagues that know about my pregnancy have said that a few people are beginning to make guesses. I think it’s a natural assumption for people to make (I might think the same if a close colleague had sickness and time off for doctors appointments!) but I am now longing for the 12 week scan to arrive on the 5th of June so I can finally tell people officially.

Bean x


Our pregnancy journey so far…0-9 weeks

As soon as we got married, Matt and I decided to start trying for a baby. However, as I suffer from PCOS, we were told this was going to be tricky. I know that weight loss is a big fertility factor in sufferers of PCOS, and although I wasn’t vastly overweight, decided that if I wanted a baby, I would need to lose a bit of weight. With the support of Matt (who lost three stone…jammy so and so), I attended Slimming World classes at the local church hall. In only a few months, I had lost a stone and a half and looked and felt much better.

On 7th April 2013, after a year of trying to conceive, I did one of my fortnightly pregnancy tests and, to my disbelief, it was positive! I sat on my own upstairs for about ten minutes, savouring the moment, before running downstairs and sharing the news with the hubby. Lots of teary hugs followed, as well as two more tests, just to make sure!

A few days later, I went to the doctors to tell them the good news. As I didn’t have a regular cycle, he calculated that I could possibly be 12 weeks along! The day after, I got a call inviting me for a scan later that week.

The day of the scan arrived and I was terrified. This wasn’t made any easier by the fact that once the sonographer started scanning my stomach, she couldn’t find a thing. Not even a yolk sac. She started asking me lots of questions, suggesting that I may have miscarried, before saying that she needed to do an internal scan. Yikes.

Nothing could be seen on the internal scan, and at this point she started to worry, which then obviously made me very tearful. She called her manager who again was worried and referred me to the Early Pregnancy Unit. Once there, they tried to calm me down and said that it could be a very early pregnancy, although they couldn’t rule out an ectopic pregnancy.  They took blood from me, and promised to call me by 3pm with the results.

3pm came and went, and I received a call from the nurse at 4.30 saying she didn’t have my results yet, so would leave a message with the gynae doctors to call me as soon as the results were in. At about 5.00, I received a call saying that, after looking at my scan and my bloods, they had “concerns” and I needed to go to A & E and they would examine me. At this point now, I was nearly hysterical. I had no unpleasant symptoms, I felt healthy and was convinced that this was all a horrible misunderstanding. I hastily packed a bag (in case they wanted to keep me in…I like my home comforts!) and we set off in silence.

A & E on a Friday evening is not a pleasant place to be. There was nowhere to sit, and it just kept getting busier and busier. The junior doctor who phoned me with my results met me there and examined me, before phoning her consultant for advice. She then examined me for a second time, before sending me back to wait. I then was examined for a third time, and the only thing she seemed to be worried about was my blood pressure, which was sky high. I wanted to shout, ” Are you surprised? You have kept me here for HOURS and keep threatening to keep me in!” However, I was very stoic and English about it all and tried to stay composed and polite, whilst explaining that I am terrified of hospitals.  She sent me back to the waiting room for another hour, before another more senior doctor came to see me and discharge me on the promise that I would call the EPU on Monday morning at 9am.

A tense weekend followed, with me feeling exhausted and sore from the examinations and the emotional worry, and Matt trying to keep me positive whilst inside feeling scared. 9am Monday morning came and I phoned the EPU. The nurse told me to come in for a scan at 2.30 that afternoon as “they should be able to see something by now.” Thankfully, the lovely (and slightly eccentric doctor) saw a yolk sac and confirmed it was a very early pregnancy, and I was probably only 4-5 weeks pregnant.

I then had to go back ten days later for another scan, where she said by then they could tell if the pregnancy was going to be viable. (I now loathe that word!) Almost as soon as the scan began, the doctor turned the screen to me and we saw a little heartbeat flickering away. Our baby! Words cannot describe how relieved I felt.  I began the pregnancy feeling very relaxed and philosophical about everything, but the dramas of the previous few weeks had turned me into a nervous wreck! The doctor printed us off a picture of our little soldier, and told us that everything looked OK and, unless there were any problems, she wouldn’t need to see me again.

Last week, I had my first appointment with my lovely midwife and received my pregnancy notes. It is beginning to feel very real now!

If you have got to the end of this post, I salute you – it is a long one! Please let me know if you have any early pregnancy stories as I would love to hear what other women have experienced.

Bean x

Hello from bump (le baby) and bean (me!)


Welcome to my little blog!

A little about me…I am a 27 year old primary school teacher from Surrey who loves the seaside, sunshine and shopping! I live with my husband Matt and our naughty hamster Sid.

Today is the 12th May and I am officially 9 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I will be honest with you…I don’t have much experience when dealing with babies, so as well as sharing my own experiences through this journal, I also hope to learn lots!

Thank you for stopping by, and don’t forget to say hello!

Bean x